Children and young people’s bereavement

Our therapeutic practitioners and therapeutic social workers support children and young people’s bereavement, and help them to explore, express and process their grief. Children and young people are helped to find ways to cope with the changes to their lives, and to make sense of sad, angry, painful or confusing thoughts and feelings.

Support, help and advice

We provide support for children and young people, and help and advice for their parents and carers through the illness and after the death of a loved one. We also have a library of helpful leaflets and resources, including books for parents or carers to read with their children.

Support for parents, children and carers

Talking to a child or young person about the illness and death of someone they love is probably the hardest conversation you will ever have. Children need to hear this news from a person they trust, usually their parent or guardian and we can offer help and advice in having these conversations and providing ongoing support.

How we work with children

Parents and guardians will, understandably, be very anxious about the impact of illness and bereavement on a child or young person. After losing someone close to them, it’s natural for children to feel sad, depressed, worried or angry, and many children can work through their loss with the support of family and friends. Some may need additional help and we offer these children and young people support tailored to their individual needs.

Therapeutic play and creative approaches

Older children are usually able to talk about their difficulties, whilst younger children can play or draw in sessions. Sometimes children find it hard to communicate through words. We use therapeutic play, and creative approaches such as storytelling, art, sand tray work, and talking therapies as methods to support children and young people in communicating their feelings about their own unique situation.

Support for children with learning disabilities and/or autism

Having a learning disability or autism does not mean a child cannot be affected by, understand, or learn to cope with bereavement. It is important that each child is supported to understand what has happened to the person they love and is encouraged to take part in activities that help them to cope with their feelings about the loss.

Bereavement advice for schools

We can offer advice to schools and individual staff members about how best to support a child at school, where that child has a seriously ill parent or has been bereaved.

Family events

We regularly arrange family events specifically for children and young people who are facing or have experienced the death of a parent. Support from others through this group service is helping children, young people and their families to rebuild their confidence and lives after the loss of a parent. We also hold fun days for families in the community to help children and young people to enjoy time with others who have similar experiences.

Books to support children and young people navigate grief, loss and change

Books can be a helpful tool in supporting children through life’s difficult moments.

Below, we have shared a selection of books for children and teenagers recommended by our Family Support Team.

These may be useful for exploring emotions, worries or even starting conversations around death and grief.

 

Books for children

What Does Dead Mean? - Caroline Jay and Jenni Thomas, OBE

A book for young children to help explain death and dying, based on the many questions that children ask. This book looks at questions such as why ‘Why can’t doctors and nurses make people better?’, and offers practical help for children, as well as guidance for parents and carers when a child is bereaved.

When Dinosaurs Die - Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

A comprehensive, sensitive guide for families dealing with the loss of loved ones, ‘When Dinosaurs Die’ helps primary aged children understand what death means, and how best to cope with their feelings.

Love Will Never Die - Clare Shaw

Following the death of a loved one, it is vital that children have the opportunity to grieve. Using direct but child-friendly language, this book addresses the mixed emotions felt by a child during that process. It offers support and understanding alongside areas where the child can express themselves through writing and drawing.

Ollie the Octopus and the Memory Treasures - Dr Karen Treisman

In a magical underwater forest lived a colourful and loveable Octopus called Ollie, who loved swimming with his friends and spending time with his mum and dad, Orla and Orson the Octopuses.

Until one day, when Orla started to get very sick. The doctors did everything they could to help her, but very sadly, Orla died. Ollie had so many thoughts and feelings spinning around in his head, and his heart was hurting — what can Orson and Ollie’s friends do to help?

What Happened to Daddy’s Body? - Elke Barber & Alex Barber

Using ideas very young children can understand, this sequel to “Is Daddy Coming Back in a Minute?” sensitively and honestly explains what happens after death. It helps children to understand cremation, burial, and spreading the ashes. It reassures children that it is okay to be sad, but it’s also okay to be happy.

Grandad's Ashes - Walter Smith

This beautifully illustrated picture book for children aged four to eight tells the story of four children who embark on an adventure to find their Grandad’s favourite place, they are faced with plenty of challenges on the way. Told with gentle humour, this is a charming story for children and an ideal resource for parents or professionals to read with a child as a way of broaching issues surrounding loss or bereavement.

Books for teenagers

The Boy in the Black Suit - Jason Reynolds

When Matt’s mum tragically dies from cancer, it feels like all the joy is sucked out of his life. Then he meets a girl called Love. This is a profoundly beautiful, open-hearted, funny, tear-jerking, readable and relatable story, which explores grief in the truest sense. Interest age 14-15. Reading age 14+.

The Girl Who Became a Tree - Joseph Coelho

In Joseph Coelho’s story told in poems, the ancient Greek myth of Daphne and Apollo is seamlessly woven into the modern-day tale of a 14 year old girl who becomes lost in the tangled woods of her grief and anger. Interest age 12-14. Reading age 12+.

Summer Bird Blue - Akemi Dawn Bowman

Rumi struggles with loss and anger and ultimately finds her way back to the thing that gives her relief: music. A stunning and visceral depiction of survival after devastating grief and the potential of music to heal. Interest age 13-18. Reading age 10+.

Long Way Down - Jason Reynolds

Written in verse, Long Way Down is breathtakingly gripping and spectacular. You almost read it without breathing; the action is so tense, the language so powerful. Give it to every teenager you know! Interest age 12-16. Reading age 12+.

Aftershocks - Anne Fine

Louie and his dad are almost killed by a tsunami during a trip to the strange, desolate Endlands, and his dad chooses to stay and help the people devastated by the disaster. An absolutely masterful tale: a futuristic ghost story about loss, love and grief. Interest age 12-14. Reading age 12+.

The Million Pieces of Neena Gill - Emma Smith-Barton

A beautifully written story about grief, mental illness, family, friendship, empathy and love. Interest age 12-18. Reading age 12+.

External support, resources and websites

 

Get in touch

If you’d like more information about our children and young people’s bereavement services, or if you wish to talk to someone, please contact the team:

Phone: 0345 0130 555
Email: fstadmin@dorothyhouse-hospice.org.uk